STORMS ON THE HORIZON

As a pastor I see over and over again people who choose to walk their own way and follow after sin instead of righteousness. I also see that after they choose this very dangerous path that it’s not long before they begin to reap the consequences of that path. (it’s amazing how fast sin’s seeds sprout and grow into these ugly plants). My whole life has been dedicated to following God and doing what I believed thru scripture what He wanted me to do and to raise my children in the way that His word taught me to. Yet in this past year I have found that you can’t make decisions for your children or anyone else for that matter. No matter how hard you try and how diligent you work at it, everyone has to make a choice in everything that comes their way. My heard is broken and I don’t know what to do. If it were not for the passion God has given me for my church, I would run as far away as I possibly could to get away from the reaping of sin that has raised it’s head in my family. On wrong decision leads to another so that it will cover up the past wrong decision. I’ve seen it over and over in the lives of people in my congregation and people in other pastor’s congregations but now it is in my very home. Now because of sin, I will not be able to enjoy the benefits of my adult children as I once thought I was going to do. I feel pressed in on all sides and I don’t know what to do. There are a million decisions that I have to make and I don’t know if I can even make one of them right. This is where my faith must stand strong. I must depend upon my savior and friend Jesus to walk with me thru this dark valley. My heart aches and I feel like I have had a death in the family and I dread going to the funeral. I’ve looked into eyes that once was full of life and vision and passion to do God’s will only to now find them dull and empty with only hopelessness blaring out at me saying in a loud voice “YOU HAVE FAILED AS A FATHER AND AS A PASTOR!” When will I find relief from this pain and hurt I feel inside of me? But I hear a voice inside of me that has been with me my whole life. It’s the voice of the Holy Spirit that whispers in a small voice: “Trust in the Lord with your whole heart and lean not upon your own understanding.” Yes! this voice has ever been faithful to me and has never left me nor forsook me. This voice is the voice that calls out in the middle of the night “Jesus love me this I know. For the bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but He is strong. Yes Jesus loves me. Yes Jesus loves me. Yes Jesus loves me. The bible tells me so.” I trust in you Lord…… NO MATTER WHAT!